


the last straw

by nctucomeback



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Arguing, Break Up, M/M, Making Up, Song: One Last Time (Ariana Grande), loosely based on that song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-07-10 11:05:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15948068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctucomeback/pseuds/nctucomeback
Summary: youngjae can’t handle it anymore, jaebum can’t believe he’s leaving





	1. Chapter 1

“jae, stop.” youngjae couldn’t look his boyfriend in the eyes. he kept them cast to the carpet of their shared apartment. jaebum was in his face, trying to keep the younger from passing him towards the front door. 

“where are you going?” jaebum had his hands gently on youngjae’s biceps, keeping him in front of him. 

“i’m leaving.” 

“why? why are you trying to leave me? talk this out with me,” jaebum plead, voice unsteady. 

“jae, please. i can smell the beer on your breath. i want to go.” youngjae still avoided the other’s gaze. this was their fourth argument this week. his throat burned from the bout of screaming that led him to fleeing their bedroom and trying to escape their home. he sighed, “i can’t fight with you anymore.”

“i’m not drunk,” jaebum retorted, squeezing slightly tighter on his lover’s arms. “i’m not, i don’t know why you’re saying that.”

“you’re doing it again. stop _fucking_ lying to me and starting fights. i’ve really had enough.” youngjae couldn’t get through even half of his sentence without tearing up and starting to cry. his patience with jaebum was wearing thin.

“well then stop picking at everything i do! you’re not perfect eith—“

“i never said i was perfect! but this is the FIFTH night in a row you’ve been drunk. you can’t sober up for one night with me. it’s— it’s like i don’t know you anymore.” 

“sunny, don’t do this. i can’t lose you.” jaebum rested his hand on youngjae’s cheek, using a thumb to brush a tear away. the other grabbed jaebum’s wrist carefully.

youngjae grabbed jaebum’s other hand to pry it off of his bicep, struggling to break the hold, “let me go.” 

“no, you aren’t going anywhere,” jaebum said calmly, seemingly sobering up at the climax of the situation. he kept his grip steady, tightening even just a bit more to keep the other from leaving him. 

“you’re hurting me, let go!” youngjae yelled, causing jaebum to immediately release him. the older’s face held a look of shock, his eyes teared up. 

“i didn’t mean to hurt you, you know i wouldn’t hurt you,” jaebum started, sidestepping as youngjae pushed passed him. “sunny, please don’t leave me here.”

“no. YOU fucked up. i’m not doing this anymore. you’re treating me— no you’re not even treating me like anything. this is YOUR mistake, and i’m not staying while you try and fix it. you’ve hurt me enough this week,” youngjae pushed his finger into jaebum’s chest, his face red from anger and wetness streamed from his eyes. a choked sob came from his throat as he spun back around and ripped the door open. 

jaebum was right on his heels until the door slammed in his face, the other man taking his breath with him as he left. unknown to both of them, the two slid their backs down their respective sides of the door. like a mirror, they sat with their faces in their hands and sobbed. 

jaebum texted youngjae every day. youngjae stopped reading them after the fifth day. jaebum stopped drinking, and mostly stopped eating too. youngjae moved his things out of the apartment. jaebum stopped feeling. youngjae did too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all! i'm sorry for taking so long to finally update this!!!! i've been in a funk and just flew through writing this. i hope that you all enjoy reading it, and that you're ready for the final chapter after this!!!!!

jaebum saw him from across the room. 

clichè, he knows, but it was like his world lit up. his heart pounded in his chest, and he knew he had to take his chance now. he took a few deep breaths which gave him the confidence to make his way over to the younger man. 

youngjae looked over halfway through jaebum’s long strides, a look of pain crossing his face. he turned to leave, walking out of the sliding glass door at the back of the house. jaebum was in quick pursuit, grabbing his upper arm to stop him from getting too far. the other’s bitter face came into view as the door slid closed behind them.

“what?” youngjae spat, in a voice much different than his normal, bright tone. it hurt jaebum every time he heard it, and this time it was his fault. the smile normally on the younger’s face was absent, an angry scowl replacing it instead. thinking back on their relationship, it had disappeared long ago. the anger in his words shocked jaebum, rendering him speechless. in the time he was silent, youngjae ripped his arm from his grasp and continued through the backyard, making a quick escape around the house.

“jae, wait! please!” jaebum chased after him, trying to catch him before he reached his car. “sunny!”

youngjae’s steps faltered. he stopped and slowly turned. hot tears rolled down his cheeks, into his smile lines. jaebum halted in front of him, grabbing his shoulders. one hand moved quickly to the blond’s cheek, wiping a small drop from his face. the smile on youngjae’s face was so bitter you could almost taste it. it dried jaebum’s mouth up. “you know that nickname kills me.”

jaebum’s words caught in his throat. he reset himself quickly and started to speak, “please don’t leave me again. youngjae, the past two months have been hell without you. i fucked up and i realize that and i’m 100% accountable for the mistakes i made. but i don’t want to have that be the end of us.” 

“you have to be drunk,” youngjae searched jaebum’s face for any signs of inebriation. he found nothing, just a stone, serious expression. 

“pepsi. i’ve been drinking pepsi all night.” jaebum countered youngjae’s assumption, “i haven’t drank anything since you left. well i mean, like water... and stuff but no alcohol.”

that made youngjae chuckle, before he realized he was showing weakness. the scowl reappeared on his face and he looked towards the ground, “i really don’t know... about us again.”

“just give me one more night with you then. one last time. i need to be the one who takes you home.” jaebum grabbed youngjae’s hands and squeezed. 

“you just want to fuck me one more time.” youngjae tried to find any malice in jaebum’s act, not sure what his goal was.

“youngjae, stop it. i just want you to spend one more night at home. i don’t want to take your clothes off. please?” he was sincere, the other could tell. he supposed one more night with jaebum would be nice closure after ignoring each other for close to 9 weeks. he nodded his head hesitantly at first, but finishing with confidence. he held his hand out to be taken by jaebum. the older gladly accepted and led him to his car, opening the passenger door for him. he rounded to the driver side, settled in and started it up. 

youngjae had grabbed the aux cord and started blasting music, singing along obnoxiously as jaebum drove. the latter had a wide grin on his face, and he mumbled all the words he could remember.

“you really don’t remember this song?!” youngjae cackled, looking over at the driver, “we used to listen to this at the park with mark and jackson by that creek! it was our ‘squad song’ as jack put it, remember?”

it did sound familiar to him. that summer was one of the best of his life. he had a real group of friends for the first time, through whom he met youngjae. they did a lot of stupid things together. it brought them together, and made jaebum fall in love with youngjae. they had no idea then, but that summer had formed the longest lasting friendships.

soon enough, they arrived at their— no, jaebum’s apartment complex. they walked the halls together as they had many times before, but this time was… different. youngjae didn’t like the crawling feeling of being a guest in what used to be his own home. jaebum didn’t like feeling like he was leading youngjae to somewhere where he should be comfortable. it didn’t feel right.

jaebum unlocked and swung the door open, gesturing for youngjae to enter first. the blond kicked his shoes off inside the door, scolding jaebum for walking brazenly onto the carpet without removing his. he took a step back, realizing it wasn’t his place to say that anymore. jaebum smiled, laughed even, at him before doing as he was told. 

“are you hungry?” jaebum strode to the kitchen, opening the leftmost cabinet by the fridge. he retrieved a packet of youngjae’s favorite instant ramen. he held it out to him, before pulling his arm back, “no, i should make it for you. you’re the guest.” 

he turned on his heel, starting to prepare the noodles. youngjae had silently padded over to him, grabbing his wrist to stop him in his tracks.

“stop acting like that.” 

“like what?” he tilted his head to the side, confused by what youngjae had said.

“you know this is weird. acting like this around each other where we used to live together? it’s just. it doesn’t feel comfortable anymore,” youngjae held both of jaebum’s hands in his, “maybe this isn’t right for us?”

jaebum’s mouth hung open, not knowing what to say. he didn’t believe what he was hearing, it couldn’t have been the right solution, “no, i don’t think— i think it’s because— youngjae.”

“yes, jaebum?” 

“i haven’t seen you since that night. things didn’t exactly end favorably then. there’s bound to be some… awkward moments, you know? i mean, think about in the car earlier, we were so comfortable around each other. smiling and laughing together like we used to. i think that’s proof it can work again.” jaebum’s eyes held a silent plea, the corner’s held a bit of wetness. just enough to not spill over. 

“can we play it by ear, please? i just want to live in tonight, not worry about tomorrow.” youngjae squeezed his hands, surrendering a small smile, but nothing else. his face was unreadable. jaebum nodded, letting the others hands go and turning back to the kitchen counter.

“do you want to help me cook?” youngjae nodded, and jaebum grabbed an extra pack of noodles from the cupboard. they emptied both packets’ contents into a large pot, taking turns stirring as it boiled. 

youngjae hummed as he stirred, swaying slightly to the tune he made up in his head. jaebum was entranced, stuck in a world where it was just the two of them. all that mattered to him was youngjae in that moment. 

“it’s done, can you add the seasoning?” youngjae knew that it made jaebum happy to pour the seasoning in at the end, like his mom used to let him. 

they sat in their respective spots on the couch with their meals in their laps. jaebum turned on the tv, which resumed on the channel he had left it on.

“pororo? you were watching cartoons?” youngjae teased him, poking a finger into his side. jaebum squirmed and furrowed his brows together.

“it’s better than watching the news.” he pouted, turning the channel to some talent show and his attention to his food. they ate peacefully, talking about anything and everything that came up. jaebum told youngjae about how he’d recently taken up making songs on soundcloud, and how he had a decent amount of listeners. youngjae had found a small company that he did occasional modeling for.

they hadn’t noticed, but they had edged closer to each other. 

jaebum had brought up how he was thinking about getting a cat, but youngjae wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying. he was distracted by the man beside him. he examined and re-remembered the face he had tried so hard to forget. it felt right to be next to him again, even if things were slightly amiss. 

youngjae found himself dosing off onto jaebum’s shoulder, barely noticing when a pair of strong arms picked him up. jaebum carried the sleepy boy down the hallway to his bedroom. he set him on the mattress and shuffled through his drawers, grabbing the green flannel pants youngjae had borrowed many times before

“hey, put these on, alright?” jaebum set them on the bed next to him and patted his head gently, “do you want me to sleep on the couch?”

youngjae shook his head, patting next to him. he fumbled with his pants, blinking his eyes to rid them of sleep. “jae, i can’t unbutton them.” he whined. 

with a bit of assistance, he was ready to go back to sleep. jaebum settled in next to youngjae, and to his surprise youngjae laid down on his chest. he twirled the pinkish-blond strands of hair around his fingers, cherishing every moment they were together. his chest tightened as he choked up. this was it. one last time. their last night. 

“youngjae, i’m in love with you.” he whimpered, not sure if the other was even awake to hear him. 

“i love you too, jaebum. don't cry.” youngjae said quietly, looking up at the other through his lashes in the dark. the silence in the room took over, covering every corner and surface. they laid there for what felt like hours with their eyes closed. one question dancing around jaebum's head kept him from drifting off.

“will you be here when i wake up?” 

but youngjae pretended to be asleep. he didn’t know the answer himself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaebum wakes up. alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this is the final chapter for this story, thank you all so much for reading! and for sticking around with my random update schedule!!! <3

jaebum woke up, immediately slumping his arm into the space beside him. it fell on cold sheets. the comforter folded back from youngjae leaving the bed. his heart plummeted, agitated butterflies beating around the walls of his stomach. he sat up and looked around the room for any sign of youngjae. the borrowed flannel pajama pants were discarded on the carpet. the bathroom door was open. water droplets were collected on the mirror. the other had showered before he left. jaebum didn’t hear him. his throat tightened and he let out a choked whimper. 

he didn’t know what he had expected. he thought that all had gone well last night, but maybe youngjae had just wanted one last night. it felt as though the color, the light had been drained from his life again. he set one foot on the floor, two. he stood, the weightless empty feeling had returned to him. it felt like he floated through his bedroom door towards the kitchen. it held nothing but a few more dirty dishes than the day before. 

his feet continued into their— no _his_ (he wished he would stop thinking that) living room. the normally neatly-folded throw blanket crumpled in the corner of the couch, reminding him of how they spent last night. youngjae was nowhere to be found. his breath left him like he’d been punched in the stomach. it was real this time. he wasn’t going to get youngjae back—

something caught his attention from the corner of his eye. he pivoted, facing the sliding glass door to the right of the television. on the balcony, a patio chair sat, just out of view and… a leg. he took 3 big strides before throwing the door nearly off its tracks. stepping onto the concrete overhang, he almost fell to his knees.

youngjae, with his hair damp and eyes wide, stared back at him. jaebum couldn’t believe his eyes. well, honestly, he’d never been happier to believe his eyes. those same eyes quickly filled with tears, and he fell into youngjae’s lap. he sobbed into the other man’s shoulder, so solid and real. 

he had stayed. 

“hey, hey… i’m sorry i didn’t want to wake you, bummie.” youngjae embraced him quickly, not wasting a second before he rubbed his hands up and down jaebum’s back. the latter straddled him, trying to get as close as possible.

“i thought you were gone forever, i was so scared. i’m so sorry, youngjae. i’m sorry for everything. please don’t leave me again? yeah?” he pulled away, cupping youngjae’s cheeks. he looked him in the eyes, searching for anything. they held warmth, a smile revealing itself there before it even hit his lips. 

“i forgive you. i missed us. waking up next to you, hearing your little snores, feeling you wiggle your toes every once in a while… it was just like it used to be. having the old you back, it feels like a dream.” he speaks softly, his voice cracks and he’s choking up. he leans their foreheads together, fluttering his eyes shut. jaebum mirrors him. 

it feels tranquil, just the two of them. a cool breeze brushes against their clothes. the rustle of the leaves and cars passing underneath them is just white noise, sinking them further in their trance. jaebum was fully content with enjoying the other’s presence like they were, but youngjae spoke up.

“let’s go inside.” 

jaebum stood, offering his hand to the other. he lead him inside, only to lay on the couch and pull the other down with him. “hey!” youngjae protested, laughing with his chest. it was a beautiful sound. jaebum always loved his full, bubbly laugh. he laughed along while he held youngjae close to his chest. the latter snaked his arms around jaebum’s neck. youngjae nuzzled his nose against his captor’s jawline, placing small kisses there. jaebum leans into the contact, sighing contentedly. 

this was the ending he had hoped for. 

in the back of his mind, he wondered if this was the ending he deserved. after everything he had done to youngjae, his heart was big enough to forgive him. jaebum wasn’t sure if he could forgive himself. youngjae placed kisses on his cheeks, his breath tickling as he stifled giggles. it all felt too good. 

“are you thinking?” youngjae looked at him with smiley eyes. jaebum caught himself start to smile.

“ah, i forgot how well you know me.” he dug his fingers into youngjae’s ribs, eliciting a screech and a fit of laughter.

“forgot?! we’ve been together for years!”

jaebum shushed him. he sighed, “do you really forgive me?”

“of course i do. i know you’re better than you were, and that you truly feel bad for how you were. of course i won’t forget what happened, but i know we can work through and past it.” youngjae took jaebum’s hand in his, running a reassuring thumb over his palm, “i love you, jaebum.”

“i love you too, sunny.” jaebum’s heart fluttered like he was in third grade, “i’m sorry it took you leaving for me to get better.”

“stop apologizing!” youngjae attacked him with a hug, forcing his face into his neck. 

jaebum knew he was too lucky, and he knew not to push his luck twice. he would never make the same mistake.

“want to make breakfast?” he proposed, resting his hands on the small of youngjae’s back. his ears perked at the mention of food, furiously nodding his head, “okay, well, we’ll have to go to the store!”

youngjae moved his things back in the apartment. jaebum kept his promise to himself. youngjae looked forward to coming home every day. jaebum brought home a cat. youngjae said no at first. jaebum brought home a ring. youngjae said yes without a second thought. 

there is, in some cases, time for second chances.


End file.
